MiniBAM: The Comprehensive Man Scale

With fifty weeks of challenges under my rawhide, weather-worn belt (with a gold bald eagle buckle, natch), I’ve adequately explored the entire spectrum of manliness, leaving no steak ungrilled, no lock unpicked, and no bull penis uneaten.  So it’s only right that I take the entirely arbitrary scores I spent mere seconds determining for each challenge and rank them all in a long list.  Because the internet loves lists!  Some fun facts:

  • The average score was 3.48.  My midpoint was 3.00, and 70% of challenges fell above that median, meaning I considered them “very” to “super duper” manly.  Oddly enough, the challenges that fell below 3.00 were often the most fun ones to complete.  For example, drinking Scotch is one of my new favorite pastimes, yet it ranks very low on the scale.
  • I didn’t rank the Road Trip (every challenge therein was evaluated on a Pass/Fail basis).
  • Apparently working a twelve-hour shift in a restaurant kitchen and swimming in an ice cold lake for ten seconds earns you the same amount of manly points, so keep that in mind for time management.

Without further ado…

WEEK CHALLENGE SCORE
8 Wear a Suit (When It’s Required) 1.80
9 Eat a Bull Penis 1.87
9 Drink Raw Eggs 2.13
3 Drink Scotch 2.28
49 Fast From Technology 2.30
9 Eat Hot Peppers 2.36
27 Fight With a Samurai Sword 2.39
26 Win at Carnival Games 2.45
10 Fall Without Fear 2.67
25 Run an Obstacle Course 2.75
43 Know My History 2.78
16 Eat a Porterhouse Steak 2.80
35 Throw a Shot Put 2.81
33 Banter With Barbers 2.87
29 Visit a Haunted Place 2.89
5 Shoot a Gun 3.00
41 Pick a Lock 3.12
37 Chop Wood 3.20
4 Fix a Flat 3.21
45 Kick a Field Goal 3.27
44 Be a Plumber 3.45
48 Tailor Clothes 3.48
16 Create a Better Signature 3.50
31 Make Good on Old Bets 3.60
6 Smoke a Pipe 3.68
15 Grill 3.70
30 Work in a Restaurant Kitchen 3.72
38 Do a Polar Bear Plunge 3.72
14 Wear Cologne 3.75
47 Be Skilled With a Knife 3.76
24 Hit a Baseball 3.81
2 Shave with a Safety Razor 3.83
ONLY IN BOOK Survive the Apocalypse 3.85
17 Speak in Public – Stand-Up Comedy 3.88
7 Drive a Stick Shift 3.96
40 Use a Map and Compass 4.02
46 Befriend a Dog 4.02
32 Donate Blood 4.06
13 Gamble 4.08
42 Rebuild a Home 4.10
34 Ride a Motorcycle 4.17
1 Tie a Tie 4.18
22 Build Something With Wood 4.24
ONLY IN BOOK Work on a Farm 4.25
36 Ride a Horse 4.29
12 Learn Self Defense 4.32
8 Wear a Suit (Because You Want To) 4.33
28 Welding 4.35
23 Go Fishing 4.44
39 Volunteer 4.67
50 Be a Dad 4.81
11 Learn CPR and First Aid 4.88

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